All About the R-Word
In the household that I grew up in, “shut-up” was a cuss word. If you really wanted to get yelled at, you’d say the word, “hate.” But nothing was drilled into my brain more than the R-Word. What’s the R-Word? Retarded. Retard. Retardation. All of them. When people use words like hate or retard they don’t consider the literal meaning of the words. In school my peers would use the R-Word all of the time.
· “That is so retarded.”
· “You wouldn’t get it because you’re in the retard class.”
· “How do you not understand? Are you like a retard?”
What if I told you that I’ve had one of those quotations directed towards me? When I was in 5th grade I was placed in a class that contained students that were also in APEX, a program for the “smart” kids. When all of the APEX students went to their other class, I stayed with 2 other people because I wasn’t smart enough for that. A year before that I was diagnosed with ADD, attention deficit disorder, while many people struggle to believe this is a real thing, it explains so much to me and any teachers that I’ve encountered. I try not to make excuses for my lack of productivity on days that I don’t take my medicine, but I might as well not go to classes because I won’t retain or even listen to any of the information that’s given. In middle school I was placed in classes that had another teacher, a co-teacher, that was there to help students that didn’t grasp onto concepts as well as others and they gave an extra push for the students that needed it. Students that weren’t in these classes called it, “the retard class.” I was in that class, but I am not a retard and neither are students that have any type of intellectual disability.
I’ve always really known my mom as a teacher, a special education teacher. She has the most patience, courage, and love of any other person that I’ve ever met. Her job was meant for her. It’s not just a job to her though, it’s something she’s truly passionate about and something that she has formed an emotional connection to. When my mom started working at a summer school program for students with special needs I went with her as a peer volunteer. I learned that I didn’t have near as much patience as my mother, but I learned that everyone is unique. I learned that people that have intellectual and physical disabilities are some of the most loving, caring, and joyful people you will ever encounter. You can say I’m bias towards the R-Word, but I just think it’s inappropriate on every level.
The literal definition of retard:
Verb - delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment.
Noun - a mentally handicapped person* (often used as a general term of abuse).
*Now known as, intellectually disabled.
I guess I have a hard time understanding when describing someone or something as “retarded” became a thing. Hopefully now that you know the literal meaning, you will think twice before it comes out of your mouth. In high school I had a teacher who loved the R-Word and used it quite frequently when describing students and actions that students would do, I couldn’t take it. It didn’t take long for me to go home to my mom and tell her about this teacher, and within 24 hours the principal was notified. (To the teacher who this is about, if you’re reading this, you know who told on you now. Oops. I’m not really ashamed). Now, I don’t go tell my mom every time I hear someone using the R-Word and I don’t call out everyone I hear using the word, but I do cringe every time I hear it or see it. I will probably dart a glare across to you in hopes of you getting the hint. Just saying. However, today, in a college class, the guy sitting behind me kept using the R-Word, “This is so retarded, this professor is retarded, this school is retarded,” it continued. I didn’t hesitate to turn around and politely ask him to refrain from using that word when describing things he simply didn’t agree with. He didn’t understand my problem, so I continued to inform him why he should think before using the R-Word and he didn’t speak for the rest of the class. My intention wasn’t to get this blabber mouth to stop talking, I just wanted him to consider the words coming out of his mouth.
I believe everyone is created in the image of God. Everyone is valuable, deserves to be respected, and loved. However, when you call someone “retarded” this is what you’re doing:
· Being exclusive
· Ignoring individuality
· Spreading hurt
· Being offensive
· You are incorrect
· It’s derogatory
· Fostering loneliness
· You are using hate speech.
You can say you’re “just joking” all you would like, but in reality you’re making no sense because you are unaware or ignoring the literal definition of the word. You’re “just joking” until you realize real people get hurt, no one is immune to hurtful language. Honestly, think about it, how could it not be insulting to someone who is trying their absolute best?
People with intellectual disabilities are people to, and you may be thinking, “Obviously.” But when you think that they don’t have feelings, that they don’t understand what you’re saying, or just act like they aren’t even there – you are isolating them and treating them like they aren’t a person. They have something that makes them different just like we all do, I have a colon disease but I’m still a person. They do things differently just like we all do, I like mustard with my pretzels, but I’m still a person. Just because you don’t understand a way someone lives or interacts doesn’t give you the right to isolate them. If you are doing that then you are bullying, and what’s fun about being a bully? Nothing. Just because someone has an intellectual disability doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of doing anything. We all have special talents and characteristics that separate us from each other. One part about someone that is intellectually disabled shouldn’t define them. Just like I shouldn’t be defined by the fact that I have brown hair. Are you picking up what I’m throwing down? When we use terms like, “retarded” that are outdated to describe people we are making it easier to ignore their humanity. We make it harder for ourselves to get to know some extraordinary people. When we use the R-Word we take a group of people who show some of the best of humanity and use them as a symbol of what we are at our worst. You’re right, “retarded” describes the speed of people’s learning, but these people are also slower to hate and judge. However, these people are known to trust and love so much quicker than others. People that have intellectual disabilities may not be able to do trigonometry, but neither can I. Does that make me retarded? No.
If you want to know more, visit { http://www.r-word.org/ } for more information. This is a campaign called, “Spread the Word to End the Word” and you can pledge to not use the R-Word with me. Watch the following video to gain a better understanding of what I've been trying to say.
I hope you now understand why I get a disgusted look on my face when you use the R-Word. I hope you will take the pledge to spread the word to end the word. We don’t get to choose what words hurt people, but we decide whether or not to use those words.
“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” –James 3:10
Comments
Post a Comment