"You is kind, You is smart, You is important." // A Friendly Reminder

This movie and novel can teach us a lesson on how to feel valuable, worthy, and lovable. I am about to get real with you for a second, and trust me, it's more awkward for me than it is for you. Here I am, nervously admitting that I do not believe that I am kind, smart, or important...like ever.

Yes, I can be kind, but there’s sometimes that I snap at people or I ignore opportunities to help people out. Sure, I’m kinda smart, but I got a C on my History exam last week. I mean, I guess I’m important to some people, but according to me, I’m alright. My problem is that I’m too hard on myself, as I’m sure most girls are. I nit pick myself.

Unlike the innocent and precious little girl featured in this movie, I come from a very loving and wonderful family - therefore my insecurities do not derive from the feeling of being ignored or unloved. However, I would like to second and ponder about where my (or your) insecurity comes from. What caused this? Why do I have these thoughts? Why can't I just love myself? While the answers to those questions seem fairly simple to some, for people that struggle with insecurities, the answers aren't as obvious.

I believe my insecurity began when I was in middle school and traveled into my high school career when I struggled to make and keep friends, couldn't get a boy's attention to save my life, and I felt like I wasn't good at anything. I know, it seems silly, I felt insecure because I couldn't get a boy's attention. Well, the truth is, for most teenage girls that is an important aspect of feeling wanted and accepted. To be honest, I never really got along with groups of girls because of the drama that came with it (not a fan). I tried so hard to fit in by wearing what they wore, talking like they talked, and ditching my true friends. I was so caught up with the thought of being popular that I deserted myself and people that mattered. Even in my senior year of high school I still felt like I didn't belong with people that I was trying to fit in with. I finally realized that if they made me uncomfortable and if I couldn't be myself, then it wasn't worth my time. Here's a little backstory: I have tried every sport known to man - soccer, volleyball, golf, basketball, dance, cheerleading, and track. Guess what? I suck at them all. However, I still continued pursuing sports because everyone should be athletic, right? Isn't that how you make friends? Yeah, I was wrong and it took me a long time to realize that one.

Many people would consider me to be confident and independent, but those people don't know me very well. While I do have confidence in public and 99% of the time I'm laughing at myself, that means nothing. I had a bad habit of desiring love and approval from others. The problem is that I wasn't loving myself enough, or at all, so I struggled with loving others. Matthew 22:39 says, "Love your neighbors as yourself," but how was I supposed to love my neighbors when I didn't know how to love myself? News flash: It is our responsibility to take care of our emotional body. If you're relying on someone else for love, what are you going to do when they are no longer here or if they leave you? Only we are capable of fixing ourselves; putting our struggles on someone else is not fair to them. However, having someone walk with you on your journey to overcoming insecurities is different.

There was a time that I didn't feel comfortable going to the grocery store without some type of makeup on. I always had to have concealer and mascara on, regardless. While those two products are amazing, no one should ever feel like they can't leave home without them because of how others will look at them. If you think you're going to meet your future husband somewhere and you need to wear makeup, you're crazy. Your future husband will accept you with a bare face. I was afraid of others seeing my flaws, my ugliness, and my failures. Little did I know, others had flaws, ugliness, and failures (shocker). As Hannah Montana once said, "Nobody's perfect, you live and you learn it!"

Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what a creation!" -Proverbs 139:14

He created us in our inmost being; he knitted us in our mother’s wombs. Have you ever taken the time to think about that? There is someone who thinks so highly of you and thinks the world of you.

God loves you more in a moment than anyone could in a lifetime.

I sold myself short; I didn’t believe in myself, and I settled for things. We don’t like to talk about it, but sometimes girls have a bad habit of falling for a boy that doesn’t treat them right, and everyone knows she could do better. However, girls settle for attention, it doesn’t really matter who it’s from. What we all need to realize is that there is someone out there for us, just for us, and that person is our perfect match.

Don’t rush and never settle. If it’s meant to be, it will be.

If there is anyone or anything that holds us back in life, it’s ourselves. We can’t help but wonder, “Will it work, Will I look stupid, Am I capable, Will they like me?” the list continues. The truth is, nothing haunts us like the chances we don’t take. Sometimes we have to put ourselves out there and believe in ourselves. I know it’s a hard concept, but it’s possible. We all have something beautiful to offer the world and it’s time to rejoice and be glad in it. Although it may not seem like it all the time, we all have a talent and something we are called to do. Insecurity has a bad habit of getting in the way of these things, but we need to push through. Honestly, it’s kind of selfish to keep our talents to ourselves when they could be helping someone else. We are all unique individuals and the world is waiting to meet you. I know it takes a while to find out who you really are as a person, but when you do discover it, don’t hold it in. There are other people out there that will connect with you and accept you. It may not seem like it all the time because of the people that you are surrounded by on a day-to-day basis, but when you put yourself out there and explore your horizons, you will soon discover there are people who understand you.

For so long I could not figure out how to overcome my insecurity. It takes two very simple, yet complicated things; patience and practice. Oh, that pesky patience, I am probably the most impatient person you will ever meet. If I want change, I want to see the change now, not in one year. Overcoming insecurity can take a while, but just remember that every day you are one step closer to conquering this battle you’re facing. As for practice, you will have to test your boundaries and realize what potential you have. It takes practice to uncover your talents and capabilities. Trust yourself, have faith in yourself, and don’t give up on yourself.

Bring back the joy in yourself:

• Strengthen your strengths // Once you discover what you’re good at, keep doing it. Practice it and improve yourself.
• Lighten up // It’s difficult to take a joke, but let out a smile and laugh every now and then. It’s guaranteed to make you feel better.
• Surround yourself with positivity // Really, you don’t need negativity roaming around in your life when you’re trying to become more positive. Put the negative things on hold while you tend to yourself and then come back and fix those too.
• Do what makes you happy // Simple

Insecurity is a mass of tangled thoughts and feelings that are triggered by the past. We should stop living in the past and focus on what’s facing us now. The battle with insecurity is not a fun one, but it is 100% possible to overcome. If it helps, I believe in you. And if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me!

Until Next Time