Loving Someone with IBS...

Before we start reading this. let’s make something clear: It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Alright, now that we have that out of the way, we can get started on my favorite topic of discussion...COLONS (and I’m not talking about the type of punctuation). I genuinely tried refrain from the TMI moments, you’re welcome. Basically, if you didn’t know I have Ulcerative Colitis, a form of IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and it’s not something that’s easy to live with. Even more complicated, telling people about it. As I’ve moved away from home, I find that it is a lot harder to talk about, but it’s important for people to know about if they spend time with me. I am not ashamed of it and I will not hide it.

1. You can’t cure me.

One thing is certain, I will have this for the rest of my life unless some crazy miracle comes along. And I’ve come to terms with that. It may sound odd to some of you, but this lifestyle has become normal to me. I don’t want to say that I can’t imagine life without the disease, but I have forgotten what "normal" is like.

2. When I say I don’t feel good, I don’t feel good. AKA GET ME HOME.

Pain is pain. My pain may not be the same type as someone else’s pain. People have to understand that I can’t help the way I feel. I absolutely hate being out in public when I feel like someone is stabbing my insides, and I’m sure you would hate that, too.

3. I don’t spend 99.9% of my time in the bathroom.

Does this surprise you? I tell people time and time again to stop Googling what I deal with on a day to day basis because they typically talk about the worst cases. All types of IBS are different. What one person may experience, someone else could never experience even though they have the same problem. Does that make sense? I hope so.

4. I don’t have a problem talking about it (anymore).

STORY TIME: Before moving in with my now roommates, I texted them and told them all about my health issues. While I thought it was incredibly awkward, they needed to know. In a few short weeks, it would be something that they’d become to know very well. I just didn’t want to throw it on them while we were moving in. I told them not to Google it, but instead to ask me any questions they had about my Ulcerative Colitis. I have no problem with people asking me questions about something that is a huge part of my life. I also have a bad habit of making jokes about it and laughing at my problems. As I said, I’ve come to terms with my problems. It’s not a joke to me, but it helps make the situation lighter.

5. I can eat ice-cream.

Honestly, there is nothing I hate more than people assuming what I can and cannot eat or when people call me out for eating something that I probably shouldn’t. Because of this disease I have a really hard time gaining weight and I will choose to eat what I want because I can. I will face the consequences later. Some people think that I will be magically cured if I eat gluten free or exclude dairy from my diet. This is not true. Like I said, I cannot be cured. Yes, when I eat healthier, I feel a little better. But I want to eat ice-cream from time to time. Sometimes I deserve a huge hamburger. And when I decide these things, don’t point it out. I am aware of what is going in my body.

6. Don’t get mad at me when I cancel plans.

I am not a flakey person, and I hate canceling plans, but sometimes I have to. It’s not because I hate you or because I’m too lazy. It’s because I literally feel like I can’t leave my bed or the bathroom floor. You think I’m kidding, but you can ask my roommates who have brought blankets and pillows to the bathroom because I feel too weak to move. I have a severe case of FOMO - fear of missing out, but with IBS I miss out all the time. Sometimes people think it’s just because I’m lazy, but my energy literally gets drained when I am having a flare up. When you lose a lot of blood at one time, you tend to get tired. That may seem disgusting, but some people need to understand that.

7. “You don’t look sick.” I wasn’t aware you could see my intestines??

I would insert a picture of my colon compared to your colon, but some of you may be eating soup and reading, so I won’t do that to you. Seriously, I plaster a smile on my face even when I feel like I’m dying on the inside. I try to tough it out and make it to all of my prior engagements when I should be in bed. Fact: if I’m stressed out, which is all the time, my condition is worse. I know I look “OK,” but looks can be deceiving.

8. I am aware it sounds like there is an animal in my stomach.

As I am writing this in my roommate’s bed, my stomach keeps throwing a tantrum and my friends keep looking at me. I am not hungry and I do not have to go to the bathroom. My stomach is just doing it’s thing. However, it is embarrassing when I’m taking an exam and my stomach decides to scream...I’m fine.

9. I’m sure your spaghetti is good, but I can’t eat it.

Please don’t get mad at me when I tell you no when you offer me some type of food. Yes, I know I previously stated that I eat what I want, but I have to keep my priorities straight. I would much rather go into pain because of something that I really really really enjoy over something that I think is alright. No offense, I’m sure you’re spaghetti is great, but I’m not willing to risk it. Sorry.

10. I wouldn’t wish a colonoscopy on my worst enemy.

If you think something is seriously wrong with your intestines, please go ask someone about it (unlike me). But I know it’s disgusting, brutal, and uncomfortable. The drink you have to drink is gross, the flushing of your system is disgusting, and the after feeling is horrible. Just don’t get a colonoscopy for fun, not that you would want to. STORY TIME: In Geology Lab the other day, my professor asked if anyone in class had ever experienced a GI exam, I didn’t raise my hand, but he went into a descriptive explanation of the process and I felt like I was having PTSD. Oh, why was this a topic of discussion? There is a mineral in the shake you have to drink before getting a GI exam. It’s gross. Avoid it if you can.

You may be wondering why I feel so confident while talking about this, but I am terrified to post this. Honestly, it’s gross. It’s not always an easy thing to talk about. However, I have come to learn that I am not the only person that has to deal with this everyday. I have a disease, but I have learned to deal with it and talk about it, and I encourage people to do the same. It’s a disease that makes me feel awful about myself, but I am not the only one who faces these struggles. Ulcerative colitis affects people differently. According to CCFA, approximately 1.6 million people deal with [diagnosed] Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative colitis and about 70,000 new cases are found each year. I am not in this alone. It’s a very unpredictive disease and symptoms tend to come and go. I am very thankful to have such supportive people in my life that ride on this journey with me and remind me to take my medicine. It’s not easy for them either, but the people that surround me have learned how to deal with it. I will never be able to thank them enough for their understanding.